l'été

Love this picture. Beautiful colors...and I love the feeling -- it's so demure, so contenting to look at. Why aren't people like that anymore?

I've been thinking about summer lately. I think it's going to be a good one. I'll be going to the MPulse (most likely!), I'll be able to go to Top more often, I might get a job, and then I'm starting at wtmc. I hope it's good...I'm looking forward to it too much for it not to be. I want to make a list of stuff I want to accomplish, following Meghna's suit. Things that will make me happy, not even happy -- just content. The best feeling ever. I might post it. I might not. I don't know.

There is one thing that I know I want to get done. I want to look better. It's partially the reason I love the picture above; the girl in the photo has such a beautiful body. I feel like I could look like that. I'm really committing to looking the way that pleases me.

No more "I'll start tomorrow".
I'm going to be pleased with myself for once...I've spent 15 years never being wholly happy with myself. Meh.

emo rant?

Sometimes I just want to know the answers to stuff. Just snap and know, right? I feel like such a hypocrite for wanting that, because it goes against what I believe. I like having to work to know things, sometimes. But there are some things...some things. I feel like making the effort to find them out would expose too much, weaken me too much. I'd rather just know. Not have to ask, not have to pry or fight, because I don't like doing that, I don't like being vulnerable. And it seems like you are always, always vulnerable when you're trying to find the answers.
[I'm not talking math homework]
That's the worst feeling to me. Even the want to know things feels bad -- it feels weak, it feels so Normal Teenage Girl. And I hate that.

Hmph. I won't spout off on feelings anymore -- it doesn't feel any better writing it than talking about it. Ugh.

Starting Out

Helloooooo bloggers.
I'm not completely sure if I can guarantee that I'll use this simply for rambling about my life -- because really, who wants to read that? It'll probably be a melange of things, such as:

1.) Fashion things. Posting looks I've created or liked, that type of thing. I want to expand my fashion creativity, get feed back and such. I'd also like to perhaps find an invite to lookbook.nu or at least apply...not going to lie.

2.) Maybe documenting my forays into weight loss. Maybe calorie counts, maybe thinspo...I know a lot of people don't like that, but it might get posted. I'm sorry in advance.

3.) Perhaps...just perhaps...posting some of my fiction writing. Note the "perhapses." I'm extremely shy of letting anyone see my essays for school, let alone my few fictitious works.

4.) Posting my photography. (The picture in the title's a clip of a shot I took) I love, love, love analogue photography and lomography; I own a Holga, a lomo Fisheye, a Nikon N2000, and an Argus C3 Colormatic. It's a fun hobby.

But, in short, I'm excited in some narcissistic way to start blogging. Hopefully I'll actually be able to keep it up.